Remembering Dorothy: Using social media channels to grieve

03 Mar

Posted by: BryanPerson in: My life

Two days ago, on March 1, my sister-in-law, Dorothy (pictured), passed away after a vicious car accident in Kenya. She was only 32 years old and leaves behind a husband and two young children in Nairobi. It is an unimaginable tragedy that I haven’t fully come to grips yet, but our family is praying hard to work through it together.

Not long after receiving the bad news on Sunday, I chose to share my grief on Twitter and by posting a some photos of Dorothy on Flickr. It just felt like the right thing to do.

And I was relieved that I wasn’t alone.

Several other family members updated their Facebook statuses and/or added comments on Sunday afternoon to express their own sadness, including a cousin of Dorothy’s who managed to survive the crash. My brother-in-law also uploaded photos of the totaled car (I’m choosing not to link to them in this post, but they are accessible through my Facebook account if we’re connected there).

The Wall of Dorothy’s own relatively new Facebook page (I regretfully discovered her friendship invitation only after she had passed away) is filling up with tributes and memories, too.

We all find our own ways to deal with loss, but I know I have found comfort and support in reading the kind words and prayers of family and friends on Twitter, Flickr, Facebook, and BigTent (an online social networking site used by a small group at our church). And right about now, I can’t imagine not having these social channels to help me grieve.

12 Responses

Rick Murray
03|Mar|2009 1

Hey Bryan –

What a nice tribute, but what a sad occasion. Our thoughts and prayers are with you all. Peace.

RWM
Meg Strout
03|Mar|2009 2

Bryan,

It’s such a tragedy to loose someone so young. I’m sure friends and family are glad you are adding pictures and logging memories!

Still praying for your family,

Meg
Mary-Lynn
03|Mar|2009 3

Bryan, to add to your post, sharing your grief on social media outlets allows your friends and contacts to reach out to you too. So sorry to hear about your loss…
BryanPerson
03|Mar|2009 4

Mary-Lynn: You’re absolutely right, and thank you for doing just that!

Rick and Meg: Your kind words are heard and appreciated.
Chad Northrup
03|Mar|2009 5

Bryan,

I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. What a horrible tragedy. I’ll certainly keep your family in my prayers.

It’s great to hear that your social media support network is helping you through this. On a similar note, I have a friend who is going through a tough time right now due to some serious complications during the delivery of her daughter. Her daughter is in the NICU right now, so she started a blog to keep her friends & family up to date on what’s going on. In the meantime her tweet stream & Facebook page have been flooded with supportive messages. It’s inspiring to see this kind of thing happen during tough times.

Take care,
Chad
BryanPerson
03|Mar|2009 6

Chad:

Thank you. What I didn’t write about in this post but that relates to your story was CarePages.com, which is being used on my dad’s side of the family to keep us updated about an uncle of mine who had a stroke a couple of weeks ago. My cousin is posting daily messages on his condition (it’s been up and down), and we can all add our own messages of support. It’s been very helpful.

My own best wishes and prayers to your friend and her daughter.
Cathi Bond
03|Mar|2009 7

Bryan I’m so sorry for you and your family. I hope you’re able to take some downtime to let it all sink in.

Take care

Cathi
Mike Driehorst
03|Mar|2009 8

Bryan,
Like others, my most sincere sympathies are with you and your family –especially Dorothy’s husband and children.

While many/most are trying to find out how to monetize social media, some of its real value is on the emotional and support side. Sometimes a word or two of caring does mean the world. That, combined with what is essentially journaling (whether it’s sharing thoughts, pictures or video) is great therapy in challenging, stressful and/or emotional times.
-Mike
Luke Armour
03|Mar|2009 9

Bryan,
Our thoughts and prayers are with you. You truly epitomize the social in social media and I know your community will support you in this as you do them in so many ways.
With sympathy,
Warren Sukernek
03|Mar|2009 10

Bryan, so sorry to hear about the tragedy and your loss. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I’m glad to see that social media is helping Dorothy’s friends and family to deal with her loss.
Trey Reeme
03|Mar|2009 11

Bryan, your family is in my prayers. If you need anything at all, please let me know.
Terri MacMillan
04|Mar|2009 12

I am so sorry to hear about this tragedy. You and your family are in my thoughts.